Thoughts

So I missed a day in my attempt to write a little everyday...well I'm back. Not much on my mind tonight which for me is strange. I have been thinking a lot about the future and what it holds. I've applied for a Historian position but I don't hold out much hope. It's more of a crap shot then any real process of elimination. I know that I'm qualified and capable of being the best Historian they'll probably never hire but that being said it's more of a luck of the draw situation. I'm not holding my breath but my fingers are crossed.

I've also been thinking about other jobs outside of the data entry field. I'd love to open a coffee shop but the funding is hard to come by. It takes a lot of money to open up a place that could meet the quality and standards I'd expect. But I'm not ruling it out either. I've been checking usajobs.gov quite a lot as well...not much I'm qualified for or that I'd enjoy. So what to do what to do?

I've been wanting to be a writer for a long while now yet I find myself dreaming in my head and not even attempting to write any of it down. Maybe I'm scared or just lazy or both. But at every turn something 'comes up' that keeps me from doing what I know I'll be good at. I've always been a person that prefers the backdrop to the foreground. I'm not interested in leading the way, just paving it. I like to follow and have a long long leash to do as I see fit yet life doesn't appear to work that way. I'll make it work because that's how I am. I prefer things to fall in my lap rather then pursue them. Nothing I've ever really done has taken a lot of work...at least it seems that way. Maybe because when I find something I love or that I'm good at it just doesn't seem hard to me.

Take the most important thing in my life. My wife that just so happens to be my best friend. I used to think and I hear people talk about how hard it is to FIND that one person. Funny thing is I was miserable and lonely and headed down three different roads, which were all leading to my demise, when I just happened to walk through the proper door. I was invited over to a party at her place and I went. It was that simple! For me at that time in my life I never went to parties or went out really. I just decided that I needed to try something a little different that would get me out of my comfort zone and BAM there she was. I wasn't looking and all of a sudden the fire that was dim within me has now become a nova force to be reckoned with. I can't imagine life without her and I have no idea how I ever made it without her but I did...and I regret damn near every minute of it.

But to be that fortunate twice in one life would exceed any logic and truth that holds firm to this world and reality in general. I must write and leave the excuses for other things...I'm human lol. So now it's time to step out of the comfort zone again and hope to get smacked in the face with another wonderful surprise while working my ass off to obtain that which I desire...a completed manuscript written by yours truly.