I've really enjoyed the concepts of social networking. I hope that I can find a place in this world that will allow me to have a career in some aspect of social networking. I enjoy the ease and simplicity of blogging and the convenience of twitter. Both come straight to my phone, aka crackberry, and I really enjoy knowing whats going on in the world that I prefer to dwell. At the company I'm with now there is a big up shift in making the Internet site priority number one. I've been talking to the guy running lead on this and I have a meeting this Friday with him to discuss 'our' social networking hopes. Maybe I can get in that way.
I've also recently started watching @fourzerotwo on youtube and I would love to get into that aspect of social networking as well. He's the face and voice of Infinity Ward...love the games and gamers! But I haven't the slightest idea or 'project' to speak about when it comes to that road. I've also watched some simulcast/videos from my favorite authors. I am in the book business...sort of...and I do have some contacts within the publishing world but to do this I would have to find a job so we could move to the New York area. Not really interested in moving there. On the other hand it would be a step in that direction.
I've also found, thanks to @Brad_P, RebelFM on podcast at itunes. These cats are awesome and if you're into games give them a listen. @Chufmoney @dirtytea and @aegies and @talkingorange are some of the guys to follow on twitter. They run the the podcast and it is RAD. Now that would be something worth getting into. The game business is on a plateau right now but it will rebound. I'd also love to start podcasting for books...thrillers and medieval fantasy...but the writers are all over the place. Once again I don't want to move to the greater New York area. And starting a podcast has got to be expensive and overly time consuming. The time constraints wouldn't be and issue...but the acquisition of equipment and the hows and whys of setting one up are what get to me.
I hope to one day either work for a large gaming company or a publishing house...and above all become a NY Times best seller. I am gaining contacts in both industries at the moment and it's nice. Yet I'd still like to move from the retail side to the development side via social networking. Maybe my quasi meeting Friday will conjure up and entry into this side of the game. Keep your fingers crossed...I know mine will be.
Even though I complain a lot I know in my heart that I've got it great. I am a fortunate and blessed individual. I just have issues with career goals and ideas. I'm becoming more realistic now a days and I hope that I can turn this into a positive transition that will better my already GREAT life.
Feel free to leave comments or suggestions.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Fond Times Lost to Memories
So we are back from Red River and if you've never gone or it's been awhile since your last trip you should definitely check it out! The town has grown immeasurably since I first started going there. There are new shops, sidewalks, hotels, restaurants, and curbs...yes they now have curbs! I tried, and desperately wanted, to blog from our porch or balcony but my service only allowed for phone calls. The beauty of that place will make your soul weep and your psyche will swim in relaxation. It is truly a wondrous place to vacation with those closest to you. No need to worry if you're not the outdoorsy type, as I said shops/spas/touristy stuff. But if you love the outdoors, this place is marvelous.
The rivers were swift, Rio Grande was running 1700+ cfm, and the stream fishing left something to be desired. But this made for great white water rafting! We set out with Arnie from Los Rios Rafting and had an exhilarating time. The bulk of our weight, three 250+ guys, sat in the back of the raft so we caused everyone else to fell as if they were paddling a ski boat! The pictures are wonderful. The rapids were pulsing and the enjoyment was overwhelming, that is a definite must do!
The guys in the tackle shop told us about some beaver ponds east of town in a quasi wilderness area.I caught one trout and Hillary had a nice size trout hit her hook and she tried to set the hook at the same moment the fish breached. The hook went left and the fish went right. It was a beautiful sight to behold.
My wife allowed her inner mountain woman to take hold and we went trapezing through the underbrush and waded through thigh deep water. The ponds back there were exquisite and packed with wildlife. It took her ten minutes to traverse the overgrown terrain to make it out on the 'loch' wall where she stood and fished a beautiful water hole. The beauty of Hill in her element was breath taking and she looked serene and serious all at the same time. That was until she ran into the owner of said beaver dam. In a yelp I heard, "BEAVER"! Two minutes later she had covered ten minutes worth of ground and was by my side again. It didn't take her long to recover and we were off fishing again. The hardest part of that excursion was when she allowed me to take the lead and push through the animal trails. I found a nice little place that we couldn't go right or left and the steep, 90 degree angled, bank loomed in front of us. So we began the little, yet steep climb out and with some cuts and bruises we made it back to the road.
While we were trailblazing Phil, Miss (T-Handle), and Ben were fishing the first beaver pond. Cameron went up into the mountains by Questa and did a little back country fishing in the wild rapids. He said some small Brookies were biting but nothing else. It's still a little early in the season and with the snow melt filling and pushing the rivers its keeping most fish docile. And due to excessive drinking and sleep deprivation Matt stayed at the cabin and napped. We were all drinking like fish but he was staying up late. We missed him and he missed out but what can you do? Can't say I blame the guy, when we got back I ate and went to bed shortly there after. Ben caught three trout, Miss caught four. We ate like kings and queens that night; eight fish for six people plus kielbasa sausage and veggies. Miss won the first annual 'Ye lil ole fishing tournamentay' so she won...well nothing.
When we awoke the next morning the weather reflected the group emotion, depressive and weepy. We weren't looking forward to leaving our little commune! The beauty and enjoyment was behind us and the real world, rutted, stress laden, every day that we were allowed to escape from for three or four days. The purse was saved by 'daddy' and the vehicles were loaded. We pulled out to do a little shopping before lunch and to have one last hooray. We went through the over priced shops and back to Der Market...over priced as well...and bought some souvenirs. We found a wonderful little Catina style Mexican food joint, Tia Buenas, and had some wonderful food and conversation. Hillary, Melissa, Phil and I discussed some of the local real estate and business that were for sale. Maybe a dream or it may be our future?! Only time will truly tell. The entire trip home was over cast and rainy, just as my mood was. The real world loomed and the splendor that was our friendly fun filled trip had become fond memories.
Until next time my friends...until next time.
The rivers were swift, Rio Grande was running 1700+ cfm, and the stream fishing left something to be desired. But this made for great white water rafting! We set out with Arnie from Los Rios Rafting and had an exhilarating time. The bulk of our weight, three 250+ guys, sat in the back of the raft so we caused everyone else to fell as if they were paddling a ski boat! The pictures are wonderful. The rapids were pulsing and the enjoyment was overwhelming, that is a definite must do!
The guys in the tackle shop told us about some beaver ponds east of town in a quasi wilderness area.I caught one trout and Hillary had a nice size trout hit her hook and she tried to set the hook at the same moment the fish breached. The hook went left and the fish went right. It was a beautiful sight to behold.
My wife allowed her inner mountain woman to take hold and we went trapezing through the underbrush and waded through thigh deep water. The ponds back there were exquisite and packed with wildlife. It took her ten minutes to traverse the overgrown terrain to make it out on the 'loch' wall where she stood and fished a beautiful water hole. The beauty of Hill in her element was breath taking and she looked serene and serious all at the same time. That was until she ran into the owner of said beaver dam. In a yelp I heard, "BEAVER"! Two minutes later she had covered ten minutes worth of ground and was by my side again. It didn't take her long to recover and we were off fishing again. The hardest part of that excursion was when she allowed me to take the lead and push through the animal trails. I found a nice little place that we couldn't go right or left and the steep, 90 degree angled, bank loomed in front of us. So we began the little, yet steep climb out and with some cuts and bruises we made it back to the road.
While we were trailblazing Phil, Miss (T-Handle), and Ben were fishing the first beaver pond. Cameron went up into the mountains by Questa and did a little back country fishing in the wild rapids. He said some small Brookies were biting but nothing else. It's still a little early in the season and with the snow melt filling and pushing the rivers its keeping most fish docile. And due to excessive drinking and sleep deprivation Matt stayed at the cabin and napped. We were all drinking like fish but he was staying up late. We missed him and he missed out but what can you do? Can't say I blame the guy, when we got back I ate and went to bed shortly there after. Ben caught three trout, Miss caught four. We ate like kings and queens that night; eight fish for six people plus kielbasa sausage and veggies. Miss won the first annual 'Ye lil ole fishing tournamentay' so she won...well nothing.
When we awoke the next morning the weather reflected the group emotion, depressive and weepy. We weren't looking forward to leaving our little commune! The beauty and enjoyment was behind us and the real world, rutted, stress laden, every day that we were allowed to escape from for three or four days. The purse was saved by 'daddy' and the vehicles were loaded. We pulled out to do a little shopping before lunch and to have one last hooray. We went through the over priced shops and back to Der Market...over priced as well...and bought some souvenirs. We found a wonderful little Catina style Mexican food joint, Tia Buenas, and had some wonderful food and conversation. Hillary, Melissa, Phil and I discussed some of the local real estate and business that were for sale. Maybe a dream or it may be our future?! Only time will truly tell. The entire trip home was over cast and rainy, just as my mood was. The real world loomed and the splendor that was our friendly fun filled trip had become fond memories.
Until next time my friends...until next time.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Half Walls in Haiku
Oh the joys of work!
Here I sit and act awake,
unconsciousness looms.
Yet I'm to lazy,
it would seem, to make the change.
I must look for more.
There must be something?
Pontificate from the cube,
there is something more!
Teaching and writing,
or sinking in this labyrinth,
I choose to progress.
Yet the dread that spawns,
is realized every day,
by talking half walls.
The silt covered dream,
washes away hope from those,
that dwell where cubes stand.
Here I sit and act awake,
unconsciousness looms.
Yet I'm to lazy,
it would seem, to make the change.
I must look for more.
There must be something?
Pontificate from the cube,
there is something more!
Teaching and writing,
or sinking in this labyrinth,
I choose to progress.
Yet the dread that spawns,
is realized every day,
by talking half walls.
The silt covered dream,
washes away hope from those,
that dwell where cubes stand.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Still Here
It's been a while since I've been on here. I'm guessing I wasn't missed...my 'fan base' being what it isn't and whatnot. I'm lazy by nature and my memory isn't great. I'm getting old!
I found that out this past weekend. I was awake and drunk/hungover for about 36 hours and I'm still dealing with the whole staying awake thing. Work is nothing more than a bother yet I continue to show up. Now mix in the fact that I'm sleep deprived and my liver hurts and now you have one angry chubby kid sitting in a cube entering data. Good times...Good times.
So since no get rich quick schemes have worked, not that I've actually tried any but the lotto, I've decided to go back and get my teaching certificate. I want to use my degree and data entry wasn't cutting it. I'm actually excited about something so I'm sure it will go well. Wish me luck in this.
Well seeing how I'm supposed to be working I'm off to my cube to nap!
I found that out this past weekend. I was awake and drunk/hungover for about 36 hours and I'm still dealing with the whole staying awake thing. Work is nothing more than a bother yet I continue to show up. Now mix in the fact that I'm sleep deprived and my liver hurts and now you have one angry chubby kid sitting in a cube entering data. Good times...Good times.
So since no get rich quick schemes have worked, not that I've actually tried any but the lotto, I've decided to go back and get my teaching certificate. I want to use my degree and data entry wasn't cutting it. I'm actually excited about something so I'm sure it will go well. Wish me luck in this.
Well seeing how I'm supposed to be working I'm off to my cube to nap!
Monday, May 18, 2009
In General
It still amazes me that I am where I am. If you would have asked me ten years ago, "Where do you see yourself in a decade" my answer would not have been what I'm living. It's amazing really that so many bad things can happen in one life, and it can cause you to become a quasi evil soul. But with realization and an understanding of love the world can truly turn around. Sure, I complain a lot about my job, town, and life in general but when I look back over my shoulder at the road I have walked it amazes me that I'm breathing and loving and laughing here today.
I know it was in me to become 'me' again but I can't help but think that if my parents, sister and her family, and my wonderful wife wouldn't have stuck in there with me I don't think I would have reached this level of normalcy. I am actually to the point now where I want to reconnect with my friends that I have lost touch with. I never thought I would crave a relationship with anyone much less the above mentioned people and getting a chance to hangout with my best friend and his family last month really reawakened my desire to live it to the fullest.
If you've never seen or been to some dark places you might not understand. I want to live/laugh/love with all those that I care about. I'm grateful that my life has turned into baby steps of happiness. I don't say it a lot but thank you and I love you...y'all know who you are. I hope to rediscover my faith soon...maybe that's my next step?!
I know that the future will hold adventures, I seek more then I should but some will happen and others that are unexpected will happen as well. I guess what I'm saying is I want to travel, start businesses, move to amazing locations, become one with the world and along the way write some. No matter where life takes you, it gets better...trust me. If I don't make a lot of sense just nod your head and chuckle and maybe one day I'll write in a cohesive form...become a little ocd and do it right.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I know it was in me to become 'me' again but I can't help but think that if my parents, sister and her family, and my wonderful wife wouldn't have stuck in there with me I don't think I would have reached this level of normalcy. I am actually to the point now where I want to reconnect with my friends that I have lost touch with. I never thought I would crave a relationship with anyone much less the above mentioned people and getting a chance to hangout with my best friend and his family last month really reawakened my desire to live it to the fullest.
If you've never seen or been to some dark places you might not understand. I want to live/laugh/love with all those that I care about. I'm grateful that my life has turned into baby steps of happiness. I don't say it a lot but thank you and I love you...y'all know who you are. I hope to rediscover my faith soon...maybe that's my next step?!
I know that the future will hold adventures, I seek more then I should but some will happen and others that are unexpected will happen as well. I guess what I'm saying is I want to travel, start businesses, move to amazing locations, become one with the world and along the way write some. No matter where life takes you, it gets better...trust me. If I don't make a lot of sense just nod your head and chuckle and maybe one day I'll write in a cohesive form...become a little ocd and do it right.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Redeeming the Changes
So I've had a Gastric Bypass, the Roux-en-Y, and now I feel as if I'm wasting it. I'm to comfortable and I've grown lazy and somewhat lethargic. I feel like a Mike Vick...I've been given a gift and I'm pissing it away. I'm doing this for no other reason then I'm lazy. Now it's getting to the point to where I'm worried.
I miss my competitive athletic side. I need this back in my life...in a bad way. I know this will calm the Hurricane that is my mind and thought process. I know how I am and the only way I'll ever get this back is if I make it my life...not just an idea but a lifestyle.
I not only need it for my minds sake but for my life's sake. I refuse to have kids in a house of lethargy and total inactivity brought on by me. I want to redeem the gift I was given and I know it's not to late. If I can smoke and dip for the amount of years that I did and quit without true issue I know I can workout and do something that I love. For crying out loud some of the best times in my life were in a weight room.
My goals may seem self serving; I want to look good in some Under Armour, I want to run a marathon, and I want to try a triathlon. But my real goal is due to the fact that I met my best friend and soul mate and I want to spend all the time with her I can!! Plus she deserves a good looking fellow and a healthy family. Sure there are other goals but they are mine, and mine alone.
So now the choice must be made, and it will. I know I'll need help and I must remain focused. Trust me I have too...not a choice really. The success of me as a man depends upon this. Believe in me, watch me and follow me and it will be doable!
I miss my competitive athletic side. I need this back in my life...in a bad way. I know this will calm the Hurricane that is my mind and thought process. I know how I am and the only way I'll ever get this back is if I make it my life...not just an idea but a lifestyle.
I not only need it for my minds sake but for my life's sake. I refuse to have kids in a house of lethargy and total inactivity brought on by me. I want to redeem the gift I was given and I know it's not to late. If I can smoke and dip for the amount of years that I did and quit without true issue I know I can workout and do something that I love. For crying out loud some of the best times in my life were in a weight room.
My goals may seem self serving; I want to look good in some Under Armour, I want to run a marathon, and I want to try a triathlon. But my real goal is due to the fact that I met my best friend and soul mate and I want to spend all the time with her I can!! Plus she deserves a good looking fellow and a healthy family. Sure there are other goals but they are mine, and mine alone.
So now the choice must be made, and it will. I know I'll need help and I must remain focused. Trust me I have too...not a choice really. The success of me as a man depends upon this. Believe in me, watch me and follow me and it will be doable!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
From within
This life will lead you in circles and swallow you in undertones if you allow it too. It always amazes me how one minute you're up and the next minute you're worse for wear. I'm assuming I'm not the only one that feels this way?
I believe that the majority of my issues stem from a mind that never slows down; one that rarely if ever gives me a break to sit in silence. Sure I'm a dreamer but I'm a worrier too, or should I say more so. Small things hang in my mind like cobwebs that you can't see, nor can find them. The big issues seem to bother me less. I still worry more than the usual person but the small things send me into overdrive. I also thrive on self doubt and indecision! I wish I could grow out of this but I think it will take a valiant effort on my part and help from my wife.
She has already done so much for me that I can't ever thank her enough. Even though myself confidence/esteem remains lower then normal she has allowed it to blossom from the nothingness it once was into what it shall become! Amazing really. It taxes me that she worries more about me then herself. I'm not used to a non family members caring for me. It's the unconditional love that most will only read about in fairy tales. In this I know I'm blessed.
I'm trying to remember that writing clears my mind and soul. It's hard to remember that in life sometimes. Jobs, plans, problems all get in the way of what is and what should be. That my friends is why this blog was created. Feel free to comment...good bad and ugly...I need it, I want it, I thrive off of it. Baby steps to self worth...baby steps to rebuffing self doubt.
One day maybe I can write for a living and put this thesis to the test. Will writing hold up or will...self doubt rearing the head that must be loped off. One day soon I will write and I will seek adventures with my wonderful wife!
Humans are the proverbial work in progress...are we not?
I believe that the majority of my issues stem from a mind that never slows down; one that rarely if ever gives me a break to sit in silence. Sure I'm a dreamer but I'm a worrier too, or should I say more so. Small things hang in my mind like cobwebs that you can't see, nor can find them. The big issues seem to bother me less. I still worry more than the usual person but the small things send me into overdrive. I also thrive on self doubt and indecision! I wish I could grow out of this but I think it will take a valiant effort on my part and help from my wife.
She has already done so much for me that I can't ever thank her enough. Even though myself confidence/esteem remains lower then normal she has allowed it to blossom from the nothingness it once was into what it shall become! Amazing really. It taxes me that she worries more about me then herself. I'm not used to a non family members caring for me. It's the unconditional love that most will only read about in fairy tales. In this I know I'm blessed.
I'm trying to remember that writing clears my mind and soul. It's hard to remember that in life sometimes. Jobs, plans, problems all get in the way of what is and what should be. That my friends is why this blog was created. Feel free to comment...good bad and ugly...I need it, I want it, I thrive off of it. Baby steps to self worth...baby steps to rebuffing self doubt.
One day maybe I can write for a living and put this thesis to the test. Will writing hold up or will...self doubt rearing the head that must be loped off. One day soon I will write and I will seek adventures with my wonderful wife!
Humans are the proverbial work in progress...are we not?
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